the culture of stress-FREEDOM is optional
I used to make an analogy to illustrate the difference between an egalitarian social group pursuing stress-freedom versus a highly hierarchical one that cultivates dominance through aggression by comparing the two groups to bonobos vs. chimpanzees as we know them from studies and articles which all insist that the differences are hardwired in the animals’ brains, like the article published in the Washington Post.
Watching ‘Stress, Portrait of a Killer – Full Doc 2008 by National Geographic’ ( a 15 minutes version is also available) I’m not so sure about the hard wiring. If baboons can change their culture so radically from aggressive into peaceful why could humans not do it, too?
True, for the baboons the cultural change was only possible after the aggressive stressor jerks of the community were killed by their own damaged immune systems (and some infected meat stolen from humans)…
Epicurus and his friends did not wait for all the aggressive human bullies to kill themselves but formed intentional alternative communities for the cultivation of human flourishing through stress-FREEDOM and friendship.
In fact, in our own days, too, more and more human groups are opting out from the majority’s aggressive hierarchical competitive structures and build alternative communities with different structures, like the 200 year old ordered anarchy on Tristan da Cunha or the hundreds of intentional communities in the US and West Europe.
buy nothing days as exercise for freedom
I have just read an interesting interview Jules Evans did way back in 2002 with Kalle Lasn, the founder of Adbusters, which is a Vancouver-based collective of ‘culture jammers’, and the inventors of Buy Nothing Day:
http://www.politicsofwellbeing.com/2011/06/kalle-lasn-founder-of-adbusters-on.html?spref=fb
Ancient Epicureans had up to 30 “buy nothing days” a month. Even wealthy Roman Epicureans reserved 3-7 days a month for austerity: they slept on the hard floor and ate only bread and drank only water. The sense of this exercise was to keep up their faith in the doctrine that what [is thought by most people as] hard is in fact easy to put up with. It showed them that they can be happy without their belongings, supplies and services – a state pretty often achieved in cases when the emperor wanted their property for his friends and exiled them.
I had periods in my life when I had to live on extremely meager resources and I can say that this fact never affected my mental well being. Even if I don’t need to convince myself of this fact I still keep a bread-and-water day every now and then, just as a reminder of one of the techniques of stress-FREEDOM.
I am proud of my friends
I don’t believe pride is an emotion anybody should be proud of experiencing if
“pride is an inward directed emotion that exemplifies either a high sense of one’s personal status or ego (i.e., leading to judgments of personality and character) or the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection.” (Wikipedia)
Especially Epicureans should be ashamed of it and work hard at getting rid of it as soon as possible since its ugly head indicates an over-inflated ego or a dangerous vulnerability to praise. If independent self-reflection should lead to pride one ought to improve one’s self-reflective skills. Urgently.
I can’t help feeling proud of my friends, though.
It took me over forty years to understand that I don’t understand the correlation between my needs, my desires and the way I satisfy those desires, resulting in stressing myself, my friends and family, my coworkers and supervisors, clients and suppliers. It took me another five years to read all the relevant books on Epicurean life techniques and happiness studies to work my way out of the jungle and another five years to hone my tools by using them to set people free of their self-defeating beliefs and unhealthy habits and help them dismantle the walls they build between themselves and their pathway to happiness through congruence and stress-FREEDOM. It took me another year and the invaluable support of my wife to write a wise AND funny book for those who are interested in spending the rest of their lives walking toward their own happiness instead of working for their own or someone else’s greed.
My friends, however, must have been born wise and don’t seem to need the distilled fruits of hard-earned practical wisdom packed in nicely wrapped palatable pieces of advice. They must be champions in analyzing their desires, in satisfying their natural needs through synergistic satisfiers, in keeping their lifestyle and behavior patterns in line with their values and attitudes, serenely threading down their own proven pathways from pain to pleasure, producing their own happiness though congruence and stress-FREEDOM.
I must assume they do all this judging from the absence of their comments on the excerpts of my book that I have been publishing in sequels in my blog. The only topic they mildly reacted to was sequel 15: “How Is It Possible To Find Romantic Love? “
Complete strangers ask me when will my book be available in print and on kindl, when will I start training and coaching sessions on the Galenian Epicurean Conduct of Life, or at least publicly speak about it. (Which I don’t’ know yet. I still have to take care of my health and the happiness of my family.)
But it’s a relief that my friends are doing well, confidently threading their own pathways toward happiness.( Or what they believe is happiness?)
It’s a shame to feel proud but who could help not being proud of them? (Maybe Epicurus?)
PP11: take-aways from the chapter “slavery”
Here’s the 11th sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”
take-aways from the chapter “slavery”
* Until we take responsibility for much of what happens in our own lives, we are slaves to our feelings of fear.
* We must understand how our fears are manifest in our behaviors and thoughts before we can take steps to eradicate them.
* Happiness — that is, freedom from anxiety, or stress-FREEDOM — is impossible until we stop engaging in behaviors that perpetuate our anxieties.
* We must change our thinking so that we don’t see ourselves as victims of outside forces such as physical disabilities, others’ opinions, and heredity.
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
PP10: to all who suffer from “victimitis”
Here’s the 10th sequel of my Epicurean Happiness Guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”
“Victimitis”
Especially susceptible to their fears are those with a condition known as “victimitis.” The term may not be in a medical dictionary, or any other dictionary for that matter, but it is, nonetheless, a serious condition. Victimitis experts theorize that sufferers have more of a struggle to break the chains of slavery and reach stress-FREEDOM than others because victims start their journey being less fit.
Victimitis is caused by a belief in one’s powerlessness and hopelessness while at the same time investing others with considerable, almost mythical, powers, including control over the patient’s life. Left untreated, victimitis usually causes paralysis of the cerebrum, the part of the brain that controls thinking and memory.
Symptoms include absence of self-confidence, loss of rational and logical thinking skills and occasionally bitterness, with petulant utterances like, “This is all your fault,” “She made me do it,” “It’s his own fault — he made me so angry I didn’t have a choice but to shoot him in the foot,” “I couldn’t help it – I’m just not good at keeping secrets,” and “Boys will be boys.” Victimitis sufferers believe that life is much easier when power and blame are delegated to others. Oddly, the part of the victim’s cerebrum that controls the ability to take credit is relatively untouched.
There are two reports of rare manifestations of victimitis. In the first case, the patient, a 400 lb. female, was interviewed on the Dr. Phil TV show, and responded to the question, “When did your weight start to get out of control?” by declaring in no uncertain terms that it began one day several years ago when she was bitten by a spider.
The second case manifested itself in a pop-rock song several years ago in which the singer subtly asks his audience to shed a few tears and shake their heads in knowing sympathy after learning of his pitiful victimitis (although the song does have a catchy rhythm and it’s easy to dance to):
And now you tell me that you’re having my baby,
I’ll tell you that I’m happy if you want me to…
Take one step further and my back will break,
If my best isn’t good enough
Than how can it be good enough for two?
I can’t work any harder than I do…
Somebody tell me
Why I work so hard for you -
Why do I do the things I do?
Tell you if I knew.
Wham!, “Everything She Wants”
Incidentally, this case is remarkable in another way as well: It is believed to be the first case in recorded history of an immaculate insemination.
If you feel yourself slip-sliding down a slope towards victimhood, ask yourself a very important question: What role am I playing in this situation? If you left an expensive bicycle propped up against a tree overnight in the neighborhood park and went back the next day to discover it missing, would you blame the rotten kids in the neighborhood, the negligent police, your mate for giving you the bike in the first place, and the people who live across the street for not watching closely enough? It may not be clear to you, but it would be to others: Your irresponsible behavior in forgetting to take it home played a significant role in its disappearance, independent of anyone else’s actions.
The only cure for victimitis is finding a mechanism to release the victim’s brain from its grip, thereby restoring rational brain function and allowing self-confidence to thrive. There are no pills or special herbs at this time (although someone somewhere is probably working on it).
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
PP7: Fear of loneliness
Here’s the seventh sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” (PP7)
Fear of loneliness
As you will see in the Needs section, human beings have a need for affection and intimacy. Very few people would choose to be without it. (I know, I know, sometimes you dream about the pleasures of being completely alone, but you wouldn’t continue to enjoy it long-term, especially if the alone-ness was forced on you rather than being a choice you made. What do I mean by “forced” on you? I mean a beloved spouse dies and your family members, if you have any, live far away. Or you find your middle-aged self divorced and alone.) The craving for physical touch and intimacy can be excruciating. Loneliness is painful and therefore thwarts our attempts to reach stress-FREEDOM.
Poor choices are common among those who don’t believe they could handle the pain of loneliness. A few examples:
* A decision to stay in an abusive relationship
* A decision to marry a person while ignoring the nagging doubts about the success of a permanent relationship.
* A variation on that decision: A decision to marry because of pregnancy while ignoring the small warning voices in your head.
* A decision to sabotage a promising career (for example, refuse a job transfer) because of a girlfriend or boyfriend or because of the fear of not knowing anyone in the new location.
By making these kinds of decisions, a person is declaring that he or she is unable to endure the pain of loneliness. A better decision is to believe one is capable of overcoming the possibility of loneliness by changing one’s perceptions and helping one view his or herself as lovable and capable. I am sincerely hopeful that your excursion through From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness proves useful in giving you tips and tools to change any negative attitudes you may have that prevent you from living a stress-free existence.
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
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