My Friends May Download the First Chapter FREE
I have finished posting sequels of the first chapter of my Epicurean Happiness Guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”.
Those of my friends who have not downloaded or read it yet, may download the first chapter FREE here.
You may of course choose to purchase – or at least enjoy reading the funny testimonials – of the whole book here.
Or, you may just decide to waste precious time of your life trying to re-invent the wheel, instead of accessing know-how practiced over 800 years (from 300 BCE till 500 CE) by millions in all parts of the Greco-Roman world., from today’s London to Alexandria, from Damascus to Lisbon.
PP11: take-aways from the chapter “slavery”
Here’s the 11th sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”
take-aways from the chapter “slavery”
* Until we take responsibility for much of what happens in our own lives, we are slaves to our feelings of fear.
* We must understand how our fears are manifest in our behaviors and thoughts before we can take steps to eradicate them.
* Happiness — that is, freedom from anxiety, or stress-FREEDOM — is impossible until we stop engaging in behaviors that perpetuate our anxieties.
* We must change our thinking so that we don’t see ourselves as victims of outside forces such as physical disabilities, others’ opinions, and heredity.
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
PP9: fear of death
Here’s the ninth sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”
Fear of death
“My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth – that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally – but I didn’t want to upset him.” (Jack Handy)
A fear of death is a waste of energy. Death is as natural as blue eyes and blowing your nose, and it’s as inevitable as rain. When I was 8 years old, I was scared silly of going to the dentist. I couldn’t sleep at night, and I even contemplated running away. Sure, getting fillings in those days was no picnic, but my anticipation of it was far worse than actually experiencing it. But I digress. Back to death.
Are you afraid of dying because you’re worried about what will become of your children? Some of what happens to your children after your death is under your control, such as their living arrangements and legal guardianship; and some can be influenced by you in advance, for example by preparing them emotionally or helping to boost their self-confidence and independence. Besides, your staying alive is no guarantee that harm will never befall them.
Are you afraid of dying because it might be painful? There’s that fear of pain again. Sure, there’s a chance it might be, but the pain you’ve experienced from a migraine headache, a broken bone, a gunshot wound, or a hammer pounded on your head may have been worse. And if you suffer from a painful disease before you die, or you’re badly injured in a car accident, there are drugs to alleviate the pain and keep you comfortable. We don’t have to bite on bullets anymore.
What other elements of dying do you fear? If you can exert some control over them, make the decision to figure out how to take charge. If you can’t, worrying, or even thinking, about them won’t make a smidgeon of difference in how events finally play out.
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” (Steven Wright)
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
PP8: Fear of failure
Here’s the eighth sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness”
Fear of failure
Many people believe that an opportunity for failure lurks around every corner like a swarthy stranger in a trench coat. They are probably right. That’s why it would be folly to proceed into the treacherous neighborhood of opportunities without sufficiently equipping ourselves with the right weapons.
A small sampling of swarthy strangers in trench coats:
• Becoming a parent • Learning to ski
• Losing weight for health reasons • Closing the deal
• Pursuing a lifelong dream • Painting the bathroom
• Running for office • Going to college
• Accepting a promotion • Quitting cigarettes
with added responsibilities
Fear of failure is common. But letting it deter us from taking advantage of an opportunity may very well be a source of anxiety and stress greater than any resulting from taking on the challenge. An ironic truth is that some of us engage in self-defeating behaviors: We won’t even make an attempt to lose weight, for example, because of a fear of the failure brought about by success. We believe people will reset their expectations of us — that after we meet our goal we will immediately have a love life and have stylish new clothes and be, um, more attractive — and we know we might not be able to rise to these expectations. The same can be true for those who study and study but never quite get over the final hurdle for a degree or license or certification. And we’ve all probably heard news reports of recently released prisoners who purposely commit a crime so they can return to the only place they know where expectations are very low. We all probably sabotage ourselves at one time or another, including by knowingly setting our goals too high.
We don’t always have control over the indicators for “failure”; for example, if our cumulative grade point average is too low to meet the entrance requirements for college X, it is not a personal failure or a flaw and it doesn’t mean we’re losers. All it means is we did not meet that institution’s criteria, which are in place for specific reasons maybe known only to the college. The same grade point average may still gain acceptance at college Y or college Z. Similarly, if you’re not tall enough to be allowed to ride the Wicked Whirling Tornado at the county fair, it’s not a personal failure. (Of course, your fear of failure here may mean that your Sweetie Dumpling will get on the ride with Slim instead of you, but who needs that kind of fickle female anyway! You’ve discovered the upside: Because you’re short you can discover her true colors.) If you still want to ride, try again next year.
Unfortunately, we can fear failure because we have an unjustifiable lack of confidence in our abilities (for example, refusing to enroll in a photography class because you just KNOW you won’t be any good); or because we choose to undertake an endeavor we believe to be against our best interests in an attempt to meet someone else’s expectations (for example, going to law school for a parent who enjoyed great success in the profession, even though your real love is the performing arts).
I’m not suggesting we dismiss the idea of failure altogether. It’s always a possibility. But if we are tenacious and committed to a goal and have self-confidence and a justifiable belief in our strengths and skills, the chances of failure are greatly diminished. And, most important, failure is a failure only if we judge it to be — not others.
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
PP7: Fear of loneliness
Here’s the seventh sequel of my Epicurean happiness guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” (PP7)
Fear of loneliness
As you will see in the Needs section, human beings have a need for affection and intimacy. Very few people would choose to be without it. (I know, I know, sometimes you dream about the pleasures of being completely alone, but you wouldn’t continue to enjoy it long-term, especially if the alone-ness was forced on you rather than being a choice you made. What do I mean by “forced” on you? I mean a beloved spouse dies and your family members, if you have any, live far away. Or you find your middle-aged self divorced and alone.) The craving for physical touch and intimacy can be excruciating. Loneliness is painful and therefore thwarts our attempts to reach stress-FREEDOM.
Poor choices are common among those who don’t believe they could handle the pain of loneliness. A few examples:
* A decision to stay in an abusive relationship
* A decision to marry a person while ignoring the nagging doubts about the success of a permanent relationship.
* A variation on that decision: A decision to marry because of pregnancy while ignoring the small warning voices in your head.
* A decision to sabotage a promising career (for example, refuse a job transfer) because of a girlfriend or boyfriend or because of the fear of not knowing anyone in the new location.
By making these kinds of decisions, a person is declaring that he or she is unable to endure the pain of loneliness. A better decision is to believe one is capable of overcoming the possibility of loneliness by changing one’s perceptions and helping one view his or herself as lovable and capable. I am sincerely hopeful that your excursion through From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness proves useful in giving you tips and tools to change any negative attitudes you may have that prevent you from living a stress-free existence.
You may download now the whole the first chapter (“Slavery”) of my e-book “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” FREE: http://stressfreedomguide.com/free/1/freechapter.html
Epicurean Happiness Guidance – for some: a cold lima bean
I have sent my Epicurean Happiness Guidance “From Pain to Pleasure: The Proven Pathway to Happiness” to 26 people I know and appreciate FREE for their personal usage only. I told them that I would be very glad if they could give me some feedback about how they liked it and whether it was useful for them. Six of them thanked for it. 20 of them ignored it.
Mentioning this to a friend of mine he reminded me that people never value what they don’t pay for. Besides, these people were not a targeted audience, because they were not acutely in pain.
In the words of J.D. Salinger I must have acted “in the spirit of Matthew Salinger, age one, urging a luncheon companion to accept a cool lima bean” when they were satiated.
He asked me whether I learned my lesson and I am still wondering what lesson.
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